Monday, September 29, 2008

it was like i could read your behind

or, where have you gone, tammy copenhaver?

I find it highly unfortunate that I have lived long enough to see lettering on the posterior of women's garments return to the fashion world.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about stuff like the picture in the upper left-hand corner. Ladies, this isn't hot. Seriously. Like bicycle shorts, this has never looked good on anyone in the history of humankind.

When I was in college (1985-1988), the "lettering on the ass of the shorts and jogging suits" thing was in full vogue. But then, it was at least largely confined to sorority girls, who honored their respective benevolent social organizations by sporting their sororities' respective three-letter emblems on the respective seats of their pants. I remember this unfortunate sartorial choice being particularly virulent among our campus' Tri-Sigs.

But nowadays, apparently you don't have to be a sorority girl to look as cheap as one. Again, ladies, this has never looked good. Not on the girls at my college, not on Gwen Stefani, not on J-Lo, and certainly on not you, no matter how attractive your appearance may otherwise be. Please stop wearing this sort of thing. Please.

Or if you must wear something like this, at least make it interesting. For example, instead of the "Juicy" logo, why not an eye chart? It still wouldn't look good, but at least you'd be walking away from a better kind of laughter.

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